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TELL YOUR STORY… BOTH THE GOOD AND THE BAD

29 Aug

Using the social networks to promote our ideas, to sell a product or a vision can be a dangerous thing. It is so easy to fall into the whales mouths and to exaggerate, inflate, or cover over the “broken image” of who we are; stumbling in our eagerness to impress and sell. It produces short terms gains and long-term disappointment. Eventually we can’t hide the truth of who we are… there is too much information out there… too many eyes, to many fingers typing on keyboards, to many other people out there just like you and me.  There is only one thing for us to do… We must simply TELL OUR STORY… BOTH THE GOOD AND THE BAD… Yes the truth will find us out, but it will also set us FREE.

INSERT IMAGE HERE

There are huge advantages to simply telling your story, whether it be via a blog, a tweet or on a face-book fan-page. It can be the story of your company (a group of people), the story of the your product (what people created) or the story of your life. At the end of the day people want to hear stories about other people just like them, this is why…

1. People long for connection… when you tell a human story it RESONATES.

2. People INVEST in other people not in inanimate objects.

3. People may not be able to smell that “something is too good to be true” but when they put in their mouths and chew on it… they sure won’t like the taste. Human stories create LOYALTY.

We all have a natural tendency to show our best side and to hide our flaws.  But it is those moments in life when we are caught of guard, when we make a mistake, when we have to apologize that really engage other people. This is why we must not hide the bad parts of our story from those who have chosen to support us; friendship after all is SHARING. For this reason I would encourage you to…

1. Tweet about the accidents and mistakes that you make each day.

2. Blog about your disappointments and failures. The things you learned, the things you wished you had known before you started that enterprise, that task, that relationship that lead to failure. You can do this without dishonoring anyone.

3. Ask for HELP. Reach out for ideas, solutions, and moral support. Engage your audience on the social networks on a level playing field. When they know you are sincere 99.9% of people will do anything to help.

In finishing I leave you with these questions… What stories that you are afraid to tell? What are you holding onto with a clenched fist that prevents you from reaching out and receiving with an open hand? My acting teacher used to say “The truth will set you free, but first it will really hack you off!

Market Your Art

27 Apr

Most of the time Geoff is to busy creating art and writing blogs to consult with artists. However if he truly believes in your music, artwork or film, you may twist his arm and he will help you…

The Basic Package we offer starts at $250 for any artist. For this you will get…

  • A Discovery Survey + Analysis — Finding your true heart behind all your creations — This may surprise you!
  • One on One Consult — We develop unique, authentic, attention grabbing strategy together.
  • A Written Report that sets goals and empowers you implement your strategy.
  • Access to Software that will enable you to build your audience and fan base authentically on Twitter, Facebook, Linked In and WordPress.

Consultation is in person in Los Angeles or via Skype Worldwide. Contact us at geoffreytalbot@gmail.com.

Other Rates:

    • Hourly rate thereafter: $150/hour
    • Daily rate: $700/day
    • Project rate: By negotiation.

Bullshit… you don’t know me well enough yet…

31 Mar

Last night I had a writing session with the incredibly talented Joel Sappington; together we’re developing a very unique, high concept television show. We have an overall concept, but at present we’re spending a lot of time on the front end; digging down deep, really getting to know our characters; this before we even develop a storyline, before we write a single word on the page.

If you don’t really know your characters first, then you are in big trouble, you’re in the poo because you are manipulating them to fit your plot lines; you have taken “choice” out of their hands and they have become puppets. Characters much like people are way more endearing when they are free to make their own choices… a free character is surprising, entertaining, dramatic and unpredictable.

The process of knowing your character is a never-ending love affair, as with people, there is always more to know, more to learn, more to uncover, more to love. You have to spend a lot of time with a character to really get to know him or her on an intrinsically personal level, you have to be vulnerable with them, you have to share yourself and the whole spectrum of your life’s experiences; you have to ask them difficult questions…

There are so many layers, so many secrets and dreams hidden in the dark private places of every soul, don’t get bored, don’t make assumptions, take your character out for coffee and spend a little time on the getting to know process.

Below are questions you can ask to get to know your characters better…

Since we are trying to create human truth and human resonance then the more we know about our characters the more “real” they will become. These questions are designed to help your characters come alive in your imagination.

Answer them really quickly. Don’t try to be right, you can never be because it’s all imagination anyway. Don’t worry if your answers seem to contradict themselves. People contradict themselves all the time… your character is a person.

You don’t have to answer all the questions… they are designed to fire your imagination and to help you find your characters voice.

Background:

Imagine them giving you their passport.

Biometrics

 

1. Age?
2. Occupation?
3. Nationality?
4. Exactly where were they born? Manger. Hospital. Aeroplane City?
5. Parents?
6. Parents Occupation?
7. Place in family/Siblings?

Upbringing:

Try and paint a picture of their early years. Character is often formed in these times.

• What was their childhood like?
• Was their house messy?
• Did their parents fight?
• Were they disciplined physically? How?
• Did they have an animal that they loved?
• When did they go to their first funeral?
• Could their mother cook?
• What did the house smell like?
• Did they have their own room?
• Was their home religious?
• Did they say grace before meals?
• What time did their father get home?
• Did they play any sport?
• Where did they go to school?
• Were they bullied or did they bully?
• Who was their first girlfriend?
• Who was their first fight?
• Who was their first kiss?
• Did they have lots of friends?
• What happened at their birthday parties?
• What age were they when they first left home?

Current Situation:

How do we find them when we first meet them?

• What is their current job if they have one?
• Are they in good health?
• Which part of their body do they feel pain?
• How much money do they have in their wallet?
• How much money do they have in their account?
• What language do they speak?
• What sort of an accent do they talk with?
• Where did they last travel too?
• When did they last have a holiday?
• When did they last make love?
• What is their favorite restaurant?
• What is their favorite fast food?
• Are they in married? In a relationship? Straight or Gay?
• Do they have any children?
• Are all their children alive?
• Do they have any addictions or mental health issues?

Their Role in your Story:

A film story is really a collection of stories (characters). Although each character (person) is a story in themselves you must decide what sort of role each character is going to play in the story you have decided to tell.

Acknowledging that each character is a person and a story in themselves will help you avoiding creating “stereotypes” with little human resonance.

• Are they a Major character, Minor character or an Extra?
• If a Major character are they Antagonist or Protagonist?
• If a Minor character do they muddle, bring a message or mediate?
• Do they fill more than one of these roles?
• Do they switch during the story?

Basic Personality:

I find these questions particularly useful to help me get a feel for my characters. Don’t be afraid to contradict and make them muddy.

Would they or wouldn't they...

• Are they introverted or extroverted?
• Are they sensational or intuitive?
• Are they perceptive or judgmental?
• Are they a thinker or a feeler?
• What is their major goal in life?
• What is their core characteristic?
• What is their biggest contradiction?
• Do they have the mentality of a father, son, daughter or mother?
• Are they a savior, a victim or a persecutor?
• Are they uneducated or educated?
• Are they worldly or naive?
• Are they optimist or pessimistic by nature?
• Do they mock others?
• Do they like to tell dirty jokes?
• What do they do when they break wind?

Physical Stuff:

• How do they dress?
• Do they take pride in their appearance?
• Are they vain?
• Are they dirty?
• Do they have facial hair?
• What is their physical build? Slight? Muscular? Fat?
• What is their favorite food?
• What food do they hate?
• What is their favorite drink?
• Do they drink alcohol?

Private world:

We are often unfortunately defined by these things… there is also a lot of comedy found in these things

What dreams may come...

• What is their worst fear?
• What do they do when they are alone?
• What is their greatest love?
• Who do they want to talk too when they are only?
• What subject do they want to avoid?
• What are their most hated activities?
• What activities do they love?
• What is their wildest fantasy?
• What is their biggest regret?
• What is their favorite memory?
• What is their greatest ambition?
• Who is their best friend? Doesn’t have to be human…

How do they feel about…

Answer these quickly. How do they feel about?

• Self
• Others
• Friendship
• Sex
• Love
• Family
• Marriage
• Racism
• Country
• The world
• Religion

Additionally:

If you really want to know your characters try these…

• What do they find funny?
• What groups do they belong too?
• What political party do they support?
• What would it take for them to do something out of character?
• Who do they admire most?
• What role would they play in a Mardi Gras?
• What do they want written on their tombstone?
• What Photograph do they carry on their person?

What if’s?

What would your character do/say about the following…

Fancy a trip...

• Inherited One Million dollars.
• The death of a loved one.
• Had two weeks on a Greek Island.
• A natural disaster.
• Were fired from their job.
• Met an old friend/enemy.
• Went on a blind date.
• Children.
• Being raped.
• An unexpected kindness or compliment.
• A serious illness.
• A flat tire on the expressway.
• An unexpected day off.
• An interracial relationship.
• Given five minutes on TV.

No Bullshit – Keep it clean and simple…

24 Mar

Keep things clean and simple.

Don’t be diluted or muddied by the agenda’s of others. Don’t try second guess yourself creatively. Try not to commit adultery, keep yourself sacred and keep your motives pure… this way you will have much more space in your life to listen and to create.

So much money, human resource and time is spent cleaning up a dirty house and making it presentable again.

Acting with integrity and creating art out of a truthful place, can seriously streamline both your career and your life. Loyalty follows integrity, and by living and creating this kind of life, you can use the internet to gather a faithful group of friends who will support you, treasure you and share your work with the world.

You don’t need a marketing department anymore… you just need a group of loyal and committed friends.

Read more of this article at below

Much time and energy in entertainment is spent putting a “marketing spin” on things. This could be simply positioning a film to appeal to a particular type of market, or it could reach further into the darker realm of covering up the crimes, or diluting the indulgences of the marketable artists. It’s easy and way more life-giving if we all speak, create and live our lives as who we really, truthfully are. Huge marketing departments can now have their cover (lies) blown by a text message, a face-book photo or a simple tweet.

Social media scares a lot of corporates because it appears to put a huge amount of power into the hands of the ordinary chap on the street. he has a voice, and if what he says is interesting enough, it could pull down a president. Social media however, is here to stay, it’s not going anywhere.

Giving people power, levels the playing field and in my opinion it is creating a new equilibrium… where a good film, a good song, a great piece of art will stand on its own two legs, without the need for a conglomerate marketing push. The studios are afraid.

If you can create a piece of art that connects directly to the human heart, then why would you take it anywhere else than straight to the social networks. Here, you the artist can engage and converse directly with your audience, it’s safe and free, in every sense of the word. There is no “money person” getting in the way, no “distribution problem.” Your audience now has the power, not the people in suits in an office on Sunset Blvd.

Talking with your audience is a far better and more sustainable way of continuing to create really good art. It keeps the artist at the coal face, face to face with their audience members, the ordinary people on the streets, the characters in their screenplays, the people who truthfully appreciate your art. There’s not some reviewer in a newspaper sharing their jilted creative opinion, these people (your audience) commune directly with you, they share their actual opinions, their stories, these are the ones you create for, the people whom you love.

If you wish too, you can create a manageable, human, integrity based system for sharing your work and gathering a large group of supportive friends on the social networks. The good news is… you don’t need a label and a million dollars anymore. The bad news is… you need to have a strategy that is personally fitted and designed specifically for you. This strategy is not designed to reflect your art, like your art, this strategy is designed to holistically reflect and spring forth from the center of who you truthfully are.

I am an artist and I am only in interested in promoting the work/lives of artist who genuinely reflect this ethos of integrity. Not because I believe solely in the value of integrity but because the system (our integrity based marketing model) will fall apart if the artists involved act in an overtly hypocritical or dishonest manner. People aren’t fools.

We are already working with individuals/companies/artists in this area, but I am interested in taking more clients. If you are a genuine artist, looking to establish themselves in an honest way then contact me at geoffreytalbot@gmail.com to arrange a consultation.

No ordinary bullshit…

17 Mar

When there is a lot of shouting it’s difficult to hear anything, if you’ve got a big voice maybe you’ll get heard but it’s almost impossible to get the sincerity of your message across. On the social networks (Twitter & Face-book) everyone is shouting about the product they each have to sell, and it can seem like no one is listening.

As in life, so it is in the crazy virtual playground in cyberspace, you need to find friends who are interested in genuine relationships.

It’s the quality of the friend, not the numbers of friends that really counts. You can know a billion people and still be lonely, or you could have just one or two close friends and feel like the richest dude in the world. It’s all about friendship, it doesn’t have to be deep but it’s got to be real.

Of-course you can keep on shouting but everyone’s talking ordinary old bullshit and that’s all you are ever likely to buy.

Find out how to build a genuine Twitter list below… Subscribe to this weekly blog by clicking on the blue button.

Who are you interested in talking to?

The age old questions of… who’s your audience? What’s your market? Who will buy your product? These questions need to be redefined and humanized to build a strong effective and loyal following on twitter… The better , more current question is… where are your genuine friends?

Friendship on the social networks needs to be redefined, as it does not need, nor should it, carry the weight of regular friendship with skin on it. The principles are the same but the level of depth and strength of attachment are different. (less).

Friendship in my opinion is usually best built around a commonality, a similar interest or love, a cause worth fighting for, a shared belief; there is always an indescribable, almost imperceptible innate understanding or secret knowing in the best friendships. A deeper agreement.

So rather than asking who will buy my song? Who will watch my film? Who will read my book? This is a result orientated approach that dehumanizes people to numbers, there is a “different set of questions” that you need to ask?

  1. What am I interested in?
  2. What ideals, values, topics, themes, interests, beliefs etc are represented by the piece of art I have created?
  3. How would this add value to the lives of “prospective” friends out there?
  4. How do I find these people amongst all the shouting and ask them if they would like to be friends?

What are you interested in?

Write down a list of your passions, interests, beliefs etc. If you having trouble finding what they genuinely are? Take a rain check, look at your diary and look at your bank statement. Where you spend your money and your time… there you will find your true loves.

How are these interests reflected in your art?

If you write/create from your heart, if you are genuinely attempting to be artistic then your interests will in someways (big or small) be reflected in what you create. on the other hand if your creations are entirely “market driven” and your art does not reflect your life at all… then it’s really not art, it’s some other kind of ordinary bullshit and you would be advised to cease reading.

Sometimes the connection between your art and your interests is blindingly obvious, perhaps you love baseball and you have written a film about the sport. Other times the connection is far from obvious and exists on a much more metaphysical level. Perhaps you have a love of football and yet this particular piece of art is a “classical concerto!” You left asking the strange question… “is there music in football, and is there football in music?” Strange? Yes.

There is a reason that you love both football and classical music, and the reasons may appear different on the surface but underneath it all they are same. Perhaps you like “drama,” perhaps it’s about overcoming the odds, finding strength and courage to win, team-work, artistry, commitment, dedication, perfecting a craft. There is a reason that you like them both.

Find that reason and create from it… now you have something genuinely and uniquely you. Write about it. Tweet about it. Find friends that love the same thing. Write classical music for footballers and create football in music… The possibilities are endless.

Create Music for Footballers

How would this add value to the lives of other people?

We all long for connection. We each desire friends who share the same values and passions as us. Connection gives us value and helps us to feel important. The social networks can facilitate friendship and allow friends to come together and be part of something bigger than ourselves.

Your passions, your interests, your art are a vehicle for genuine connections with others. Whether you just brighten up someone else’s day, or you motivate them to keep following their dream, your work, your life, your friendship can enrich their lives… Don’t be greedy it happens one person at a time.

And “whispering” to one person at a time is how you build a genuine audience of loyal friends. Friends who will love you, stand by you, believe in you and support you even when your records aren’t selling.

How do you find and converse with these friends on Twitter?

Whispering in high places...

Let’s talk practically about finding a space on twitter to have genuine friendship. First you need to find a way to filter out all the shouting, all the bullshit, all the tweets trying to sell you something. For every artist or business trying to do this I would strongly recommend the TWEET-DECK application. You can download it for free at TWEET-DECK

You can use it on your laptop, desktop and/or smart phone. In case you have not seen it… here is a picture…

Filter out the shouting with this application

Building lists around your Interests:

Remember your list of interests. Those things in your life that you create your “art” from, through, or because of? You can use your Tweet-Deck to group your friends (followers) according to the common interests that you share. It is then far simpler to converse and interact with these friends, because it is easier to see their tweets etc. If you need help setting this up… contact me at geoffreytalbot@gmail.com for a Skype Consultation.

I would recommend that you create 7 to 10 different lists of friends… i.e. Football lovers, Classical Music lovers, Entrepreneurs, Dog lovers, Mozart fans… just where-ever your interests lie. Even if you have no friends/followers in these categories create them now.

The Friends you already have:

Often we fail to notice or look after the friends we already have. Take stock of who you already know, who already loves you and your art. Add these people to the appropriate lists on Tweet-Deck. Interact with them, share your life and passion with them. Ask them to check out your art? Encourage them to share it with others. Ask them to criticize it. Help them in whatever way you can…

Maybe the idea of this is just too time consuming… I guess you are not interested in this form of friendship then… That’s okay, just stop pretending and keep on shouting.

Finding New Friends

Finding New Friends:

Sometimes friends find you, other times you find them. To find a friend you need to remain open to the prospect of friendship…

Friends Finding You…

Friends often find us through other friends. On Tweet-Deck you can have a column dedicated to new followers. If they are genuine followers and not bullshitters (spammers and salesmen) then extend a warm hand of friendship to them. You do this by…

  1. Following them back.
  2. Sending them a message inquiring about their interests.
  3. Replying with a message about yourself.

Once you have an idea of “what exactly” drew them to you and what they are interested in. You can add them to the appropriate list and from here you will have a quiet space in which to build the friendship.

New friends are also a great source of other new friends… because people are grouped around shared interests. But take time to get to know them, rather than just trying to “snatch” leads off them. Nobody likes to have their friendship “used” to get to someone else… someone more popular. The true artist loves their audience, whether that be the homeless man on the street or the rich couple in a palace.

It's best to share friends...

Sharing friends:

Friends share everything… including other friends. The #Follow Friday phenomenon is/was a great way to meet like-minded people on twitter, until everyone started doing it. I still use it and recommend that you do, but check out the “quality of the new friends” before you add them. If they are bullshitters or salesmen I would tend to avoid them, because in a circle of friends, one annoying, dishonest friend with their own agenda can spoil the whole broth.

The Personal Introduction is also a great way to share friends and you can do this on the quiet through a Direct Message, so no one has to any thing to gain (kudos/publicity etc) except genuine friendship. This is a great way to connect others and to be connected. Simply say to friends… I see you are friends with so and so… if you think it’s kosher could you introduce us?

Yes it takes longer this way, but it is far more valuable to have 100 friends with a huge sphere of influence, that 100 000 followers all talking bullshit. This incidentally is what happens when you throw your door open and allow yourself to follow/and be followed by whoever the universe chooses. Trust me I’ve done this and I am still cleaning up the mess… Bullshit everywhere. Choosing your friends is vital in life and it is just as important on twitter.

Genuine new friends are hard to find...

The Search for New Friends:

It’s okay to look for new friends it just pays to look in the right place and to know the sort of people you are looking for before you choose.

Using the “Search” function on Tweet-Deck:

Remember that you have your lists… these represent people who share the same interests, commonalities that resonate in and through your art. You can search on tweetdeck for people who have “tweeted” about the same words/topics as you. Tweet-Deck will give you a list of the hundred last tweets on this topic. People who’s tweets contain the same content and tone as yours are likely to be keen on symbiotic friendship. How do you invite these people into friendship…

  1. Follow them… If you don’t befriend them, why should they befriend you?
  2. Contact them via their blog/website or other form of social media — Introduce yourself to them using the “topic” you share in common.
  3. Wait for them to follow you…
  4. If they don’t follow you/Stop following them… it is impossible to have a friendship that doesn’t flow two ways.

In Conclusion:

Genuine Friendship is possible via the social networks, you can be friends with hundreds, even thousands of people. This may not be possible in real life but it’s possible in twitter because the friendship doesn’t run as deep and so does not require the same degree of up keep. A kind word here and a kind response here, can make the world of difference to someone else.

Service for Artists:

If you artist looking to build a genuine online presence and you would like my help, please contact me at geoffreytalbot@gmail.com. My consultation rate can be found on the following page…  Consult with Geoff

Naked Bullshit

10 Mar

How much of me do you want to see? How much of yourself do you wish to reveal? I’m not talking about our physical bodies, I’m simply asking you how much of your soul are you willing to reveal to the world?

Our culture often makes the grave mistake of confusing ‘openness” with integrity & honesty. You can tell every soul you meet every sordid detail of your entire life and have zero integrity. Confession does not by necessity equate to honesty; for if I were to confess to you that I hardly ever tell the truth… that confession would not make an honest man it would simply define me as openly dishonest.

When it comes to the internet and how much you share on the social networks, as you gather friends and share yourself with your audience I would advise that you to be both open and honest… the open part is easy (it’s just talking), the honest part is hard.

The full article can be read below.

Say no more

But you don’t share everything all at once…you still get to choose:

Remember that our goal for sharing our art/life on the internet is to gather “friends” not just followers or fans. The realm of friendship on the social networks is both different and the same as it is in everyday life. So although the medium is very different, the building of the relationship is still very much the same… Talking with a new friend on the social networks is kind of like going on a first date… let me tell you an actual story…

My First Date…

I met this very pretty lady in a store in America and we got talking, she seemed lovely so we exchanged phone numbers and decided to go on a date.

I was excited about meeting with her, she seemed “mysterious and interesting” in our brief moments of flirting. Little did I know she would not be brief, mysterious or interesting when we had coffee on that fateful smoking hot Los Angeles day…

She talked faster than a bullet train and she was as open as Madonna in her coffee table spread. I believe I uttered 3 or 4 sentences over the entire hour and half as this lovely woman emptied out her entire soul.

She started out by describing each of her addictions in sordid detail, from there we moved on to talk about her therapy sessions and thereafter… an easy segue into an abusive childhood. I believe that we finished up with a fascinating excursion into all her career anxieties (actress). This very pretty lady was extremely open and honest… but was she interesting?

Well, even though I knew everything… I did go on a second date. I guess I was a male fool and she was really very pretty. Why do I tell you this story?

People are thirsty for real relationships. But relational strength is related primarily to depth and depth is related to resilience and resilience is a function of shared experience and time. Hence for strong relationships (loyalty) to be built there is a requirement for a “shared journey.”

Going Together

A Shared Journey:

I was never against dating a girl who had addictions, it’s a good thing to go to therapy, and abuse is a tragic thing in any persons life. In my mind we all have addictions, we all need therapy and we all suffer abuse in one way or another. I wasn’t judging this incredible woman. She had lived a very dramatic life… but I should have found that interesting. I guess I wanted to discover who she was myself, there was no mystery there, no need to unwrap and explore.

Hence being wildly provocative on the social networks may get you a lot of immediate attention, but bad attention may not be good attention because it does not inspire loyalty. Eventually and quickly your newly found friends will disappear if there is nothing fresh to discover. There may have been a third date but there certainly wasn’t a fourth…

Hence being open isn’t about vomiting up the past, or present because there is nothing living there; no sense of forward journey together. It’s all about the past and it’s all about you. All I can do is listen and we aren’t very good friends yet... BORING…

Come on in

An Open House:

Imagine if I decided to show you my house because I’m selling it.  Instead of letting you come inside and wander through at your leisure… I grab you by the hand and I drag you in. I pull you into the living room and first I show the stains down the front of the couch, I breathlessly rant about how Billy dropped the bottle of red wine when he was drunk and he shouldn’t have been drunk because he was only fourteen and he’s the only fourteen year old in the history of LA doing AA. I then grab photos of the mantelpiece and rush through a tirade of dramatic stories about distant relatives. Then I haul you into the kitchen, where the dog is barking, and the stinky dishes haven’t been washed and the trash needs to be taken out and I complain that I’ve always wanted a bigger kitchen because we don’t have enough room for all our stuff. Into the bedroom we go, and I lustfully and in hushed breathless undertones tell you tales of our sordid marital passion upon that broken down old four post bed… Into the on-suite we go with further tales of marital passion, mildew on the shower and a toilet seat that I leave up because quite frankly it’s my prerogative!

Do you want to buy my house or do you wanna just get the hell out of there?

It just works better if you give people the time and space to discover. It works better if you clean things up a little, it’s their space too. They need time to invest, they need time to imagine, they need time to discover what it’s like to be you… what it would be like to live in your house.  There is a time for revealing deep truths, that deep sources of pain and brokenness from which you create your artistic masterpieces. But that time will present itself at the right time, when the relationship is strong.

Being open isn’t about dragging people into the quagmire of your life, it’s about opening the door, inviting them in and sitting down in a chair and sharing life together. It’s about sitting down in a chair in their house too. Their story will be good for your art.

Go on a Adventure together

Go on an Adventure Together:

In truth, when you ask someone to follow you, to believe in you, to spread your message, to sell your work, you are asking them to embark with you on a great adventure. An artist’s adventure is impossible without his/here audience, without his fans, without his faithful friends. They have to believe in you before the rest of the world does, it’s an adventure of Faith and Trust. They need to know you are trustworthy, they need to know you are talented, they need to know you are loyal, they need to know you care.

Trust is built through listening, through sharing, through revealing and through not revealing. Trust is built through the overcoming of obstacles. Faith is built through failure and the story of your good character, which does not give up and continues to try again.

On the other hand

On the Other Hand:

At the other end of the spectrum is the private and mysterious soul who virtually never shares a “drop” of who they really are. Many people fear being known and so are very afraid of the social networks. Most of this is fear based and in my opinion selfish… especially if you wish to be supported, especially if you want people to buy your music, look at your painting or read your blog. You’re not sharing… your selling.

Speaking of not sharing and remain locked up, tight-lipped and quiet…? That reminds me of another first date, but that my friends is a story for another day.

Good Morning, Thank you, Good Nite and a little bit of Bublebee Sex

3 Mar

The oldest things are now the rarest things on planet earth and hence they are also the most valuable. In big cities it is a “rare” and an extremely valuable thing to have someone look you in the eye and ask you how your day has been?

Likewise, simple manners, genuine interest in another person, and the ability to subvert ones own agenda and really listen are incredibly valuable commodities on the social networks. Lately I have been thinking of twitter as a rose garden where everybody is anxiously marking their own territory to such an extent that most of us have forgotten to stop and smell the glory in the roses.

We are so anxious about spreading our own message that we have lost sight and forgotten the true power in the social networks; they connect us, they allow us to communicate, to understand each other, to empower and to help. A bee must plunge deeply into the nectar of a flower if it wishes to pollinate, and pollination is essential for the production of seeds. So too we must deeply and sincerely connect with others, if we wish to build and grow mutually beneficial relationships.

Read more after the Photos.”

Marking your Territory

I'm not listening

Plunge into the nectar

How do you build loyalty using the Social Networks?

A person goes through 3 basic steps in becoming loyal to “another” on the social networks. These are simply…

  • Follower/Acquaintance
  • Fan/Friend
  • Life-time Supporter/Close Friend

Let’s look at each of these stages.

Followers/Acquaintances:

How many followers do you have on twitter? How many “likes” on facebook? These have become classic “cock measuring” popularity contests amongst many social networkers. Essentially the more friends you have, the greater your power.

Whilst “numerical numbers” are of “actual inherent value” when it comes to your “sphere of influence.” There are other factors at play here which are of far greater importance. It is not so much how many people you know, but who you know and how well you know them.  For example: you may have one hundred thousand followers on Twitter and I may have only ten. But what if one of my followers is “Uncle Barak Obama” or “Auntie Oprah?” One word, one tweet from my two power friends and my influence extends globally.

How many lifetime supporters do you have? How much power/influence does each of these people yield? A lifetime supporter believes in you and will do anything they can to help.

Beneath all the statistics and all the technology what really matters is one simple thing… “relationship.” How do you find the right kind of friends on the Social Networks? How do you gather a group of people around you who will do anything to help you succeed. People who will love, protect and support you at all costs. It’s all about choosing your friends?

Fans/Friends:

Finding friends in the real world is usually a very natural or organic thing. It normally starts with one person, who introduces you to another, and then to another. Sometimes friendship doesn’t go very deep, because you don’t relate very well to the other person, you are just too different, maybe you fight, maybe you have different values.  Once I went on a  film-making course and I made a whole lot of friends in a big hurry, we were all interested in film so we all had something in common.

In real life I have lost friends for a couple of reasons, sometimes because I am selfish and sometimes because they are selfish. I’ve also tried to find friends by going online and looking for my perfect match, that didn’t really work that well because there was nothing organic about it.

Many people will offer you a service to help you find friends really fast on the social networks; they may even offer you a special service or a brand new technique for building a lightening fast and huge “Following.”  Don’t believe these people, whilst you may have great numerical numbers, none or very few of these people will actually be interested in what you have to say, they won’t be interested in helping you in your career. Why not? Because they are numbers only, they are not real to you. It can’t be real… there is no relationship.

So if you want to build your influence, then you need to find genuine friends who care about the same things you do? Together you will have exponential influence, together you will be able to change the world.

Billy Graham, preached Christianity to hundreds of millions of people and with great success. At the end of his life however they asked him what he would do differently? Surprisingly he answered.. “I would take everything I knew and simply spend my life investing it, in 12 other people! It’s not about the numbers it’s about the strength of the relationship.

The Twelve Strong Friends


How do you find friends?

Start with the people you already know. The followers/acquaintances you already have on twitter, facebook etc? Do any of them share the same values, passions and dreams? Which people have already offered to help? Has anyone passed on a message or commented on your blog? Don’t miss what is right under your nose? Build a friendship with these people…

There are a number of different ways of being friends… but talking and listening, giving and receiving, sharing what ever you have are the principles behind any sustainable long-term method. Build into what you know. Ask your friends to introduce you to other people with whom you might have synergy. Say hello, share information, be polite, listen and be engaging, let others help you in which ever way you can… Engage them

Engagement is the only true and sustainable method of building relationships with others which will last a lifetime.

Lifetime Supporters/Close Friends:

Friendship is built through sharing experiences. You can’t built close friendship without sharing who you really are? If you wish to remain separate and aloof (closed) to the world then the social networks are not for you.

Friends need to feel welcome

However, mystery is important and there must be “Increased value/intimacy” for loyal lifetime supporters as the relationship grows. Hence, you cannot be all things to all people, simply spewing your life out all over the social networks, (it maybe voyeuristically interesting) but it will not make anyone feel safe, it will not create loyalty or purity, it does not encourage discovery.

So whatever your “friend building” strategy, be patient, take risks but guard your heart, reward those who are good to you and let others help you.

A Lifetime Supporter

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