Good Morning, Thank you, Good Nite and a little bit of Bublebee Sex

3 Mar

The oldest things are now the rarest things on planet earth and hence they are also the most valuable. In big cities it is a “rare” and an extremely valuable thing to have someone look you in the eye and ask you how your day has been?

Likewise, simple manners, genuine interest in another person, and the ability to subvert ones own agenda and really listen are incredibly valuable commodities on the social networks. Lately I have been thinking of twitter as a rose garden where everybody is anxiously marking their own territory to such an extent that most of us have forgotten to stop and smell the glory in the roses.

We are so anxious about spreading our own message that we have lost sight and forgotten the true power in the social networks; they connect us, they allow us to communicate, to understand each other, to empower and to help. A bee must plunge deeply into the nectar of a flower if it wishes to pollinate, and pollination is essential for the production of seeds. So too we must deeply and sincerely connect with others, if we wish to build and grow mutually beneficial relationships.

Read more after the Photos.”

Marking your Territory

I'm not listening

Plunge into the nectar

How do you build loyalty using the Social Networks?

A person goes through 3 basic steps in becoming loyal to “another” on the social networks. These are simply…

  • Follower/Acquaintance
  • Fan/Friend
  • Life-time Supporter/Close Friend

Let’s look at each of these stages.

Followers/Acquaintances:

How many followers do you have on twitter? How many “likes” on facebook? These have become classic “cock measuring” popularity contests amongst many social networkers. Essentially the more friends you have, the greater your power.

Whilst “numerical numbers” are of “actual inherent value” when it comes to your “sphere of influence.” There are other factors at play here which are of far greater importance. It is not so much how many people you know, but who you know and how well you know them.  For example: you may have one hundred thousand followers on Twitter and I may have only ten. But what if one of my followers is “Uncle Barak Obama” or “Auntie Oprah?” One word, one tweet from my two power friends and my influence extends globally.

How many lifetime supporters do you have? How much power/influence does each of these people yield? A lifetime supporter believes in you and will do anything they can to help.

Beneath all the statistics and all the technology what really matters is one simple thing… “relationship.” How do you find the right kind of friends on the Social Networks? How do you gather a group of people around you who will do anything to help you succeed. People who will love, protect and support you at all costs. It’s all about choosing your friends?

Fans/Friends:

Finding friends in the real world is usually a very natural or organic thing. It normally starts with one person, who introduces you to another, and then to another. Sometimes friendship doesn’t go very deep, because you don’t relate very well to the other person, you are just too different, maybe you fight, maybe you have different values.  Once I went on a  film-making course and I made a whole lot of friends in a big hurry, we were all interested in film so we all had something in common.

In real life I have lost friends for a couple of reasons, sometimes because I am selfish and sometimes because they are selfish. I’ve also tried to find friends by going online and looking for my perfect match, that didn’t really work that well because there was nothing organic about it.

Many people will offer you a service to help you find friends really fast on the social networks; they may even offer you a special service or a brand new technique for building a lightening fast and huge “Following.”  Don’t believe these people, whilst you may have great numerical numbers, none or very few of these people will actually be interested in what you have to say, they won’t be interested in helping you in your career. Why not? Because they are numbers only, they are not real to you. It can’t be real… there is no relationship.

So if you want to build your influence, then you need to find genuine friends who care about the same things you do? Together you will have exponential influence, together you will be able to change the world.

Billy Graham, preached Christianity to hundreds of millions of people and with great success. At the end of his life however they asked him what he would do differently? Surprisingly he answered.. “I would take everything I knew and simply spend my life investing it, in 12 other people! It’s not about the numbers it’s about the strength of the relationship.

The Twelve Strong Friends


How do you find friends?

Start with the people you already know. The followers/acquaintances you already have on twitter, facebook etc? Do any of them share the same values, passions and dreams? Which people have already offered to help? Has anyone passed on a message or commented on your blog? Don’t miss what is right under your nose? Build a friendship with these people…

There are a number of different ways of being friends… but talking and listening, giving and receiving, sharing what ever you have are the principles behind any sustainable long-term method. Build into what you know. Ask your friends to introduce you to other people with whom you might have synergy. Say hello, share information, be polite, listen and be engaging, let others help you in which ever way you can… Engage them

Engagement is the only true and sustainable method of building relationships with others which will last a lifetime.

Lifetime Supporters/Close Friends:

Friendship is built through sharing experiences. You can’t built close friendship without sharing who you really are? If you wish to remain separate and aloof (closed) to the world then the social networks are not for you.

Friends need to feel welcome

However, mystery is important and there must be “Increased value/intimacy” for loyal lifetime supporters as the relationship grows. Hence, you cannot be all things to all people, simply spewing your life out all over the social networks, (it maybe voyeuristically interesting) but it will not make anyone feel safe, it will not create loyalty or purity, it does not encourage discovery.

So whatever your “friend building” strategy, be patient, take risks but guard your heart, reward those who are good to you and let others help you.

A Lifetime Supporter

Feel free to comment or share with friends.

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